Headlines sure suck us right into the vortex, don’t they? There we are. Minding our own business. Moving through our Inboxes. And there it is. The mother of all headlines. It grabs us, and the next thing we know, we’re reading about the magical and medicinal properties of Rutabaga.
This is not an accident. There are articles about “How to Write ‘Catchy’ Headlines” and the like. They tell us to use numbers, and “Top” lists, and things that make people want to feel better about themselves.
Of course, personally, I don’t deploy any of these tactics in my Blog. In fact, my headlines are always roughly ambiguous.
Like.
Take that, you CheeseNose.
Pepe let the hamster sing.
Waddles took the tweezers.
You know how I do.
At any rate, the other day, I noticed an article entitled, “12 Quirky Habits of People Who Are Smarter Than Everyone Else”
Do you see how it used a number, and a “top” list? That author must have read the same Blog-Improvement article I did. The Headline Sucker.
But let’s get on to her topic. The 12 Quirky Habits of People Who Are Smarter Than Everyone Else.
Who doesn’t want to be smarter than everyone else? I mean, if we are smarter, we are probably right. And everybody likes to be right. Except for Dr. Phil. Yeah, sure. He SAYS he doesn’t care about being right, but if you’ve ever watched his show, he tries for 60 minutes to prove he’s right. Any old way….
12 Quirky Habits of People Who Are Smarter Than Everyone Else. Finally. I’ll give them to you, fast and furious.
- You have a messy desk
- You stay up late
- You swear
- You like cold showers
- The sound of chewing annoys you
- You doodle
- You criticize yourself
- You daydream
- You talk to yourself
- You like to be a loner
- You are a couch potato
- You meditate daily
Well, it appears the jury is out on my degree of smartness, given the criteria of this list.
I don’t have a messy desk. I love HOT showers. I am the furthest thing from a couch potato.
However, the other nine on the list describe me perfectly. Albeit, my swearing practices wane in comparison to that of a sailor.
So, nine for twelve. That makes me about average I suppose.
Another, however. I am off the charts on numbers, 5, 6, 7. And then there is number 10. The loner thing. I always have to pass myself the salt.
So what does all of this mean? The Smarty-Pants List? The big message is: No matter who you are, there it is all over you. That’s just like you, now isn’t it? You are who you are. Yes. You. As Buckaroo Banzai said, “No matter where you go. There you are.”
So thanks for reading today. I am off to do some doodling while I belittle myself, with earplugs in. In case anyone decides to chew anything, anywhere near me.
Love,
Your pal,
The Hermit Monk
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“To generalize is to be an idiot.”
― William Blake
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“It’s like the smarter you are, the more things can scare you.”
― Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia
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“If you think you’re smart,
think twice to be smarter.”
― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
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