Today has been one of those days. I, am on prickles. I bet I have said… … Well, what the holy heck! … about 30 times today. I keep looking over my shoulder to see if Ashton Krutcher is back there with a hidden camera…. getting ready to punk me to the rest of the world.
It started with those whacky Pharmaceutical Commercials, for one. We hear them every 10 minutes or so, if we happen to be watching Prime Channel TV. Big business, I suppose.
We are all familiar with the 516 warnings they give you for each and ever pill… from Viagra to Abilify. Common side effects of MickyJabbaJoe include: insomnia, brown rice hives, dizziness, weakness, bricklayers fingers, drowsiness, happy face aversions, sedation, excessive drooling, fatigue, hopping up and down like a crazy woman, diarrhea, constipation, or maybe both, nausea, headache, and fear of gray mice. Other side effects include… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But last night, I heard the guy on the commercial say….. Let your doctor know if you have been to a region where fungal infections are common.
Now, I say. What the heck??
Where Fungal Infections are common? Well, hey. Let’s go THERE on vacation.
Again… I say… what the heck.
Shouldn’t there be some sort of list available? Like a Severe Weather Warning?
Warning… THIS place is really abundant in fungal infections. But the All-You-Can-Eat Smorgasbord is available Tuesday through Friday, til Midnight.
And where are these places? Like…. Camden, Ohio, for crying out loud? I swear, we need a list.
Oh… I’m uptight tonight I’ll tell you.
Here’s another thing. We feed the deer. We do. We have a corn trough, and we buy fresh apples for them every day. They like to come to our place. They live in our woods, and meadow. We like it that way. But last night, I swear… they are just like a bunch of teenagers gone wild. Those deer just had to go and throw a deer party. Again…. What the heck? It gets pitch dark out there… and heaven only knows what they are doing.
It is like the Rock Stars who bust up the hotel rooms. They totally destroyed the corn trough. Crazy deer. Thankfully, our pal Mike knows how to put all the pieces back together again. And he did.
This evening, after dinner, I saw three separate groups come through. There were about 20 deer in all. I spotted two that looked a little hungover. Tomorrow, I am having a strongly worded conversation with those girls.
Here’s another thing… which is not directly affecting me today. But it has in the past, and it will in the future, most likely. I love to swim. I love to swim in the ocean. And here is what I found out. We have better maps of the surface of Mars than our own ocean floor.
Around 72% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water. To date, we’ve explored only 5% of that massive area.
This scares me. Here’s the other part. The deepest part of the ocean is so deep that if Mount Everest were placed at the very bottom, the peak would still be submerged by a mile of water. THAT is WAY stinking down there. I say… what the heck.
At the big deep…. the 36,000 feet deep, the sea life unimaginable. Let alone… further down than that.
Soooo…. new rules for me…. in reverse order, for the above concerns.
I’m using swimmies from now on. Honest to god.
No more allowance for the deer until they straighten up and fly right.
I’m finding an app to detect all the places with lots of fungal infections.
Some days… you simply…. have to draw the line.
“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.”
― Albert Camus
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
― Benjamin Spock
“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
― Dr. Seuss