Stormtroopers got a bad rap. Honest to Yoda, they did.
They are just a bunch of normal guys and gals. Pretty much like you and me. Except of course that they came from the Planet Delta Nim 4. Which is located just a little south of the Death Star.
The Delta Nims were hard working, good-natured people. They enjoyed things like Malted Milk Balls, and Ham Salad Sandwiches. Especially at Benny’s Big Diner…. on Tuesdays. You could find a Big Benny on just about every corner of Delta Nim 4.
But a major drought hit their planet in 3251. The Great Dust Storm of ’51. Soooooo…. they started to run short on things like food, and fuel, and Big Benny’s on Every Corner. As a result, they were pretty poor and pretty dang scrappy. Being hungry and desperate will do that to a Delta Nim. Sadly.
However, there was hope. They heard there were decent jobs available on the Death Star In fact… a LOT of jobs. Albeit…. the pay was crappy. And you had to wear the white-suit-and-helmet-deal all day. And you had to act like a bad ass…. and shoot at the good guys. But all in all…. it was honest work.
So they moved to the Death Star in droves. And well… you know the rest.
Yep. Darth Vader showed up, and wanted to deport every single last one of them. He said they were stupid, dirty, criminals…. and they had no place on the Death Star.
They protested. They did not want to go back to Delta Nim 4. At least on the Death Star, they could eat.
But Darth persisted in his admonishing ways. He had that whole “choke-hold” on-your-neck-thing going for him.
So as you can see. The Stormtroopers had a rough way of things. Leave. Or Die.
Misunderstood, sad, sad Stormtroopers. Always hiding behind the shiny white helmet deal. Never really having a place to call home.
As luck would have it…. a bunch of them banded together, and joined up with the Revolutionists and the Jedi. They made crappy Jedi. No concentration skills basically. It was always that crazy longing for Malted Milk Balls that got in the way.
But they could elevate just about anything. At will.
So. That’s all. I just wanted to serve you up a little known piece about those good old Stormtroopers. Next week. The Whacky Wookies: The connection to the Werewolves.
Remember. You heard it here first.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ― George Bernard Shaw
“It’s dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.” ― L.M. Montgomery, Emily’s Quest
“We’re all islands shouting lies to each other across seas of misunderstanding.” ― Rudyard Kipling, The Light That Failed